people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
