I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
