I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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