I just pynch a tree in the face
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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