using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
