Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
