i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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