Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
