haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
