Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize