Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
