I love black thongs
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
