I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
