Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
