A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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