Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
