Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
