Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
