so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
