He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
