is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
