Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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