I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
