One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
