I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize