We won't sleep together?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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