his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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