I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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