The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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