Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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