Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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