Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
