Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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