I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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