god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
