I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
