the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
