ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
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I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
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There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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