Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
