Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
ok first of all what the fuck
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
