You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
