worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
