in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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