ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
