Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How external is "for external use only"?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize