in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
