Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
