with your own penis?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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