Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
