Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
