hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My hand turned me down
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize