Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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