I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
