I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
