It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
