Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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