Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
