Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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