i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
