Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize