Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
