What did we do last night that was yellow?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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