Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
