i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
