I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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